Wednesday 24 April 2013

Love The Machine


It wasn’t until my almost-new computer broke down that I realised how much I personify my machines. My Kindle Fire stepped into the breach very nicely. She’s a girly little thing, bright and pretty, who will only respond to the lightest touch. Poke her too hard and she goes into meltdown. She is handling my email quite well, but she does have her limitations. After all, she is only a tablet and can’t quite compete with the big guys.

Sadly, I watched them take my six-month-old computer away. A nice man handled him gently, putting him into a case lined with foam, but I still felt bad. He had tried his best, but I think he was sick right from the start. Over the last few days he had only managed to boot up occasionally, most of the time he was too weak to even light up my monitor. When I turned him on he made a sound very much like a human moan. He was obviously in pain, and every time I pushed the on-button I was making it worse. The diagnosis is bad. A faulty motherboard, the very heart of the machine, and they will probably have to totally wipe his memory. The computer equivalent of death.

Desperate to get some writing done, I rescued my old computer from the shed. He booted up first time with a very audible sigh. ‘Not good enough for you, was I? Too old and too slow, so I got put in a box and left to rot. But now you need me again you expect me to go straight back to work.’ I had to apologise, otherwise he would probably have shut down out of pique.

My main computer is always male. The big machines scare me a little, and I would never admit to being scared of a woman. Besides, my new computer is obviously male, a beautiful, glistening black with hard lines and a look of absolute power. I can’t wait to get him back. He may not remember anything I downloaded, but I’m sure he’ll still remember me.


11 comments:

  1. Poor you Fay. I hope your machine gets better soon. That's the trouble with modern technology. We are so reliant on it. Does anyone remember manual typewriters or am I older than I thought?

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  2. Oh how I feel for you, Fay. I had exactly the same thing happen to me at the weekend. I came home from a weekend away (more details on my blog)to find my computer had given up the ghost. Not having another one in the shed, like you, I had to go and buy another one as although my computer is insured, they said it would take up to 6 weeks to repair. I won't bore you with the details here but the upshot was a beautiful new (yes male)computer that I hadn't a clue how to use!(Windows 8 - enough said). Luckily my old computer then decided to work again so at least now I have time to work out the new one at my leasure!

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  3. I can never get on the computer in my house unless I get on it first thing in the morning, there are so many of us queuing up to use it. I find my i-phone really useful for e-mails and my old (yes, even though it is only a couple of years old, newer models have surpassed it) ipad is a great back up. Yes, Margaret I do remember manual typewriters. Never used one myself, my first was an electric, but the woman I worked with wouldn't give hers up! I also remember Gestetner stencilling machines as the first office I worked in didn't have a photocopier. In those days computers were so huge they needed a 20 foot square room and mobile phones were still a good decade away and when they came in they were like bricks. How amazing that we now have mini computers in our pockets so powerful you can talk to them and they talk back.... The next thing are Google glasses I hear! Don't ask.....

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  4. I, too, remember manual typewriters. My first job was as a secretary in a newspaper office and you really had to hit those keys hard. I will never regret learning to touch-type, though. As someone said recently - straight from the brain to the computer screen. I remember Tipp-ex, too. My boss refused to sign anything with Tipp-ex on it, so I spent hours retyping letters. Now my computer corrects everything for me, including my spelling, that's why I love it so much.

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  5. I hope your macho computer recovers soon so you can put him back to work! I must be ancient too as I learned on an old manual typewriter in the Navy many years ago with the keys blackened so you had to do it by touch and memory alone. I remember the dreaded carbon paper and Tippex as well and am thankful every day for my laptop!

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  6. Sad but you tell a nice little story Fay. I hope you soon get to work again.
    I too am feeling sad ... my little Jack Russell died today ... shehad diabetis, was blind and deaf. The vet said it was her time. She has featured in several of my past stories and leaves a Millie shaped hole. Alice and Lizzie (my other two JRTs) keep looking for her.

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  7. Chrissie, so very sad to hear your news. I am totally in love with our new cat Pepper, she brightens up every day with her sunny disposition. We lost our old cat at Christmas so I know how heartbreaking it is to lose an animal. Thank goodness she had a lovely life with you, keeping you company through your writing time or, I'm sure giving you many a diversion when you needed to relax. Take care. Cara

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  8. Technology is great, but frustrating when things go wrong.
    Very sorry to hear about your Millie, Chrissie.

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  9. Sorry to hear about Millie - when Zoe went -3 days before her 15th birthday we were devastated. Fay - computers are worse than men -they are spawn of the devil - can work magic but also destroy your happiness in seconds. Just spent hours searching for a file only to relaise it was on my laptop! Another cunning ploy to deceive me. Hope you are up and running now.

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  10. Ah...so many memories! This post took me right back to my cub reporter days, and a newsroom clacking with the sound of a hundred typewriters. And yes, Cara, I, too, remember the old Gestetner machines ... and the Tippex ... and carbon copies. My old Underwood didn't have a memory, bless it, or a motherboard, but it did the job, and I loved it.
    Sorry about your shiny new computer, Fay. Hopefully he will soon be fighting fit and back with you.
    Chrissie, my heart goes out to you. It's devastating to lose a much loved family pet.

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  11. My thanks to everyone who has commented on our sad loss. I suppose I'm lucky to have two other Jack Russells but we do miss Millie. They are missing her too but as she was rather unwell, it seemed the kindest thing to do. I'm sorry I posted the message here but it was rather filling my mind.
    Love, Chrissie

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